


Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

by doing_the_die



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Crush, Awkward Peter Parker, BAMF Michelle Jones, Bully Flash Thompson, Eventual Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gay Peter Parker, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Grindr, High School, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Makeovers, My First Spideypool Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peter Parker and Wade Wilson First Meet, Peter is a high school sophomore, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Michelle Jones, Schizophrenic Wade Wilson, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Tags Are Hard, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, There might be smut?, Tom Holland is my Spidey, Virgin Peter Parker, Wade is a high school senior, crush from afar, flash is an asshole but what else is new, peter is a blushy gay, slightly scarred Wade, underage ig but its kinda just dating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 04:44:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18218375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doing_the_die/pseuds/doing_the_die
Summary: “You’re staring again.”Peter glanced at MJ, she had a knowing smile plastered across her face and one perfect eyebrow was arching toward her hairline. Caught red-handed, Peter felt his face burn up as he blushed, “Shut up MJ, no I wasn’t.”Ned plopped down next to the two, sliding his cafeteria tray onto the table, confusion flickering over him as he took in the sight before him. Then, understanding dawned and he laughed, “Knowing you Peter, you probably were.”Accepting defeat, Peter huffed and slumped over the cafeteria table, effectively hiding his face. He could still feel their eyes on him and confirmed his suspicion when he lifted his head slightly to peer out from a veil of mousy brown hair. Ned had unwrapped his burger and locked eyes with him mid-chew. Peter groaned, letting out a muffled, “... was it that obvious?”Basically Peter gets a Grindr account and unknowingly matches with the guy that he doesn't actually know but is crushing on. The guy is Wade because it's Spideypool. They might fuck?the title will be a reference to something that happens waaaaaay at the end of the fic, like last few chapters of it





	Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

**Author's Note:**

> so i've been coming up with prompts and finally thought i'd try my hand at contributing to the Spideypool community. i'm posting the first chapter to gauge the reactions to it so i might (hopefully) will continue it.
> 
> SPOILERS
> 
> (i guess it's spoilers idk man)
> 
> so the way the prompt will play out is basically like so:
> 
> Peter's crushing on this mystery senior from afar and MJ is tired of seeing him struggle so she forces him to use Grindr. She drags Ned into it and they set up an account for him. Peter matches with Wade but doesn't know that Wade is the mystery senior that he wants to dick him down. They chat and Peter's like "Wow. I love."
> 
> Honestly most of the chapters moving forward are probably just going to be text chains and if any of ya'll are interested, Peter getting off to what Wade says (so there'll probs be sexting too). But yeah, text chains and Peter gushing over them and still having a crush on "mystery senior," and some attempt at friend shenanigans between Ned, MJ, and Peter. also maybe some bullying and mystery senior walking in one time and being like "lol flash fuck off"
> 
> tbh idk what the hell im doing but im trying ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“You’re staring again.”   
Peter glanced at MJ, she had a knowing smile plastered across her face and one perfect eyebrow was arching toward her hairline. Caught red-handed, Peter felt his face burn up as he blushed, “Shut up MJ, no I wasn’t.”  
Ned plopped down next to the two, sliding his cafeteria tray onto the table, confusion flickering over him as he took in the sight before him. Then, understanding dawned and he laughed, “Knowing you Peter, you probably were.”  
Accepting defeat, Peter huffed and slumped over the cafeteria table, effectively hiding his face. He could still feel their eyes on him and confirmed his suspicion when he lifted his head slightly to peer out from a veil of mousy brown hair. Ned had unwrapped his burger and locked eyes with him mid-chew. Peter groaned, letting out a muffled, “... was it that obvious?”

MJ feigned innocence, “What was obvious? The fact that you’re desperate or the fact that you’re a creepy stalker?”  
Peter raised his head to look at her, he rolled his eyes, “Oh my god, shut up.”  
She laughed, “I know you love me.”

By now, Ned had finished eating and rejoined the conversation with, “Honestly, I don’t get why you’re all hung up on some dude that you don’t even know. I mean, even I think that’s a little weird.”  
MJ nodded and brushed her curls out of her face, “Yeah, if you’re so obsessed with this guy’s looks, why not just get a dating app? Like Tinder. Or like… what’s the gay one?” She turned to Ned for help.  
“Grindr?” The larger boy tried.  
“Yep, that one,” MJ turned back to Peter, “It’ll probably help you get over him or whatever. I dunno. That, or it’ll give you someone else to obsess over.”  
“Yeah, man. You could probably even find someone who looks similar to that mystery senior on there. Granted, you’ll get bombarded with dick pics but it’s a fair sacrifice.”

Peter scrunched his eyebrows together, frustrated, “You guys don’t get it… it - it’s not about his face -,” both of his friends shot him incredulous looks, “ugh, okay it kind of is. But! But, it’s not just that okay?”  
MJ uncrossed her arms, “ ‘Kay, then what else is there? You don’t know him personally so it’s not like you can be attracted to his personality.”  
Peter ran a hand down his face, paused to think, and continued, “I - I just, I don’t know. I just feel attracted to him for more than the fact that he’s good-looking. I can’t explain it, it’s like I already know what he’s gonna be like and I know I’ll like his personality.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself but he really believed that what he felt wasn’t surface level attraction.

MJ sighed, “You’re such a weirdo.” She reached down next to her on the bench and slung her bag over her shoulder. Getting up, she looked over at the two boys still seated, saying, “You guys know that the bell’s about to ring right?” Then, marched off in the direction of her next class, which was coincidentally the same as Peter’s.  
Peter stared at MJ’s retreating figure with a raised eyebrow, “Since when has she been keen on punctuality? She hates our next period with a passion.”

“I dunno man, but I gotta go - see you after school?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Ned threw away his trash, flashed him a grin, and left for his next class. When he was out of earshot, Peter let out a pained sigh, he knew that MJ would be on his case for the next hour and a half. Flash was probably going to be a dick, as per usual, and MJ would rip him a new asshole before forcing Peter to create a dating profile. He got up and groaned, I can’t wait. As the brunette stepped foot into the hallway leading up to his history class, the tardy bell rung. Great. Just great. Curse his Parker luck.

\-----------------------------

Peter rushed into his classroom and did his best to ignore Mrs. Prescott’s unimpressed look and her remark on his way into the room: “Nice of you to join us, Mr. Parker.” The class snickered and he felt his face heat up as he shuffled to his seat and dumped his backpack down next to him. He settled in as the teacher began her lecture, quietly pulling out his supplies and purposely avoiding making eye contact with MJ. He could practically feel her eyes drilling into him and he didn’t want to start class off with her telling him he was a virgin loser that needed desperately to get laid. He combed a hand through his caramel locks before sparing a glance to his immediate left. MJ had turned her attention away from Peter and was writing on a post-it note.

From where he was, he saw her scribbled handwriting and the beginning of a quick doodle. As he was about to subtly lift himself up a little to get a better view, he felt something sharp poke him in the neck. Slapping a hand to his neck, he whirled around to see Flash Thompson’s stupid face grinning at him.

“Heya Penis Parker.”

Peter rolled his eyes and turned back to his work. A few seconds later, Flash was insistently prodding his shoulder, each jab growing increasingly harder. Still facing the teacher, Peter hissed under his breath, “What?”

He could practically hear the blonde’s smirk as he said, “What do ya mean ‘what,’ I didn’t do anything.” One of his stupid asshat friends chuckled and joined in with:

“Dude, maybe Penis Parker was hallucinating like that freak Wilson.”

Peter didn’t know who this “Wilson” person was and judging by the context, he didn’t think he wanted to. Hallucinations meant drugs, right? He wasn’t familiar with hallucinogens and personally wasn’t interested in dabbling in the world of drugs, especially not anything hardcore enough to cause hallucinations. He knew a few stoners - hell, Michelle was one - but he tried to stay away from anything that might be a distraction from his schoolwork. 

He tried to drown out the laughter behind him and glanced over at MJ. She gave her post-it note a once-over before mouthing at him: “Ignore them.” 

He leveled her with a look that he hoped said, “What do you think I’ve been trying to do?”

MJ responded by peeling the sticky-note off of her desk and slapping it down on his instead. Peter hadn’t noticed Flash and The Asshole Squad quieting down and was about to read the note before he felt someone shove his shoulder. 

“Hey, Parker. You ignoring me?”

He shrugged Flash’s grubby hand off of his arm but stayed silent. 

“Aw, guys… I’m being ignored. Parker’s bullying me.”

One of Flash’s friends leaned forward and breathed into Peter’s ear, “That ain’t very nice. And you know what we do to people who piss Flash off? We beat the shit outta them.”

Peter grit his teeth and hunched over, closer to his desk, trying to get away from the lingering scent of onion rings and barbeque sauce. From the corner of his eye, he saw MJ shifting in her seat. She leaned into Peter’s area and addressed the guy who had spoke.

“Hey. Tweedledum. You and Flash aren’t gonna do jack shit. I’ll fucking pepper spray you in your generic-ass face, go ahead and try me.”

The dude held his hands up in surrender and slumped down in his seat. Flash and his other friend did the same and backed off, but not without muttering,”Geez, PMS much? Can’t you take a joke?”

MJ just flipped them off and faced the front of the room, opening her sketchpad and starting a doodle.

Peter turned his attention onto the note MJ had given him. It read:

“Boi I can fucking smell you thirsting after that unknown senior rn. I’m making you a Grindr account and you are gonna cooperate with me. Cuz if you don’t, I swear I’m going to have an aneurysm. I love you and all but if I have to hear you gush over that rando again, I’ll throw hands (with that senior probably cuz you’ll break if I breathe on you.)”

 

 

Well then.

 

\-----------------------------

 

When the bell rung after his last class, he couldn’t be happier. The week had been slow and he was glad that it was a Friday because that meant he had a weekend to prepare for the inevitable: MJ kicking in his door, dragging Ned behind her, and giving him a makeover to look less like “a dweeb, a cute dweeb, but a dweeb nonetheless.”

The feeling of relief didn’t last though; a discord notification popped up on his phone and he groaned.

MJ: Imma be at ur house at like fuckin, idk, 5?  
wait no. i need more time to make u look presentable, ill probs stay over and u, me, and ned can go on a shopping spree tmrw.  
also, i already asked may if it was okay and she said yes so get rekt lmao, there aint a way outta this.  
cya at 4

 

So… he didn’t have a weekend to prepare. But, he still had around an hour to mentally brace himself.

 

\-----------------------------

Peter reached his neighborhood a little after four. He could already spot MJ sitting on his porch from a few blocks away. He forced himself to walk down the short strip of sidewalk between them and all the while, Michelle was staring at him with an unimpressed look.

“You’re late.”

“You didn’t give me a heads up and literally made plans without me!”

“Yeah, and?”

“Dude, you - ugh. Just, let’s get this over with. Even after this shit, I doubt I’ll get any matches.”

A mischievous grin crept onto her face and she stood up, “Hun, don’t doubt me. You’re gonna get matches.”

The confidence in her voice scared him.

MJ grabbed his arm and pulled him into the house, and as she started to sing energetically while dragging Peter up the stairs and towards his room, he knew he was in for a doozy.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to give me feedback, tag suggestions, and idk yet but i might take requests for how the plot will advance
> 
> if yall want more ill do a try but otherwise, i'll just fuck off probably and try a different plot in like 4 months
> 
> Oh! and if any of you are interested in me posting an image of the post-it note to the fic i'll do it but here's the catch:  
> i literally have no idea how to add images and i've tried but maybe i'm just stupid so i haven't been able to do it
> 
> So, if any of you would like to assist me in doing that i'd be super grateful and hopefully not let you down with my art


End file.
